February 23rd 2006 - This Valentines Day, Were you Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places?
By Trisha Matthies
The month of February brings with it the celebration of Valentines Day. Let’s face it, this is a chick holiday! Unfortunately, the main focus of the holiday is “romantic love.” As women, many of us use the day as a misguided barometer to measure the amount of love in our lives. Therefore, we tend to add a lot of pressure to our emotional state concerning our romantic attachments or nonattachment. For those women who have a date for this holiday, the risk of disappointment can be even greater when high expectations of red roses, sappy cards, or elegant dinners are often not met. Whether you are 14, or 44, the holiday can leave many women (and sometimes men) feeling disappointed, alone or unloved.
In my meditation and reiki healing practice, I encourage my clients to be aware of their entire beings, including their emotional selves. Therefore, I thought this month was the perfect time to address the emotional aspect of L-O-V-E.
What is love? Well, the dictionary uses simple words to describe love, such as devotion, respect, caring, and affection. Interestingly, a healthy loving relationship does not have to be the romantic type. There are many ways to fill your life and your heart with love. Are you looking for love in all the wrong places? Look no further, for the words of a 90’s rock band, “love is all around you, love is knocking outside your door.”
So you question, where can I find all this love…ahhh, I’m glad you asked. I have compiled a list of where, who, and how you can find or create fulfilling love in your life.
1. Family: It doesn’t matter if your family consists of siblings, one parent, or a crazy aunt; they are your family and your history. They have been there from the beginning. While some of us are blessed with a natural closeness to our family members, others may have an urge to run for the hills to avoid family functions. Nevertheless, our families are a starting point for lessons on love and relationships, focusing on acceptance.
2. Elderly: We all know someone who is older and perhaps lives alone or in senior housing. In today’s busy world our elders are often over looked. Spend time with them and enjoy their slower calmer pace. They are a wealth of knowledge, and stories. Often they have experienced many of the things we are going through and have wonderful words of wisdom. They offer us love in the form of their friendship and gratitude for a little company over a cup of tea.
3. Children: When was the last time you ran barefoot through the grass, caught fire flies, or had a bubble blowing contest? Well, if you can’t remember, then it is time you made a play date with your favorite little person. Children are always good for a laugh and more importantly they help you to reawaken your child within. They give us simply, the love of life.
4. Animals: Only our pets can offer us unconditional love that is not attached to buying the latest and greatest play station game, or making the worlds best dinner. All that our four legged friends request from us is to love them in return. Amazingly, a belly rub and a walk together will give you a lifetime of their undying devotion. They teach us the true meaning of loyal love.
5. Friends: It is our friends that know us better than we know ourselves. They know when to comfort us, encourage us, and even when to tell us when we are wrong. A true friend will offer her advice, but not get upset if we decide not to follow it. Friends are the family we choose. They demonstrate their love through their support.
6. Charity: Reaching out to others in need is a true act of love. Helping those less fortunate than yourself brings an instant awareness of your own life’s blessings. Giving your time and energy to a cause you believe in creates a self worth within your heart that has nothing to do with romance and everything to do with humanity.
7. Angels: That’s right, I believe in angels and spirit guides. I have found that those who also believe in these spiritual beings can feel their love and guidance. When times are difficult, everyone could use a little help from a special someone. Read and study about angels and try to connect with your own. They offer us love through spiritual strength.
8. SELF: It maybe time you rediscover yourself. Soul search and reconnect with your desires, needs, and dreams. Be adventurous and try a new class, sport, or hobby. Allow your self the nurturing and healing touch of a massage, manicure, or reiki session. Give yourself the gift of quiet time to meditate or read. Learn to enjoy your own company and you will never feel alone. Be your own best friend. This will bring you the greatest love of all…yourself! I wish you a heart and life full of love.
Trisha Matthies is a Reiki Master-Teacher with a holistic healing practice in Norwood, Ma. Her services include reiki and meditation sessions, as well as various classes. Please contact Trisha at 781-762-4740 or www.TheHealingMoon.com
Healing Moon Wellness Center / Trisha Matthies
34 School Street
Foxboro, MA 02035