April 05th 2016 - by CJ Martes
We all have defense mechanisms and different ways that we try to subconsciously protect ourselves from perceived harm in our daily lives. Our defenses are the natural way that we try to keep ourselves from being hurt. These defenses simply spring into action long before we can have a conscious thought about it from our subconscious mind. This can make it much harder for us to conquer our fears.
Some routine ways we enact our defenses are: getting angry at someone, not saying what we really feel, avoiding uncomfortable conversations or situations, or maybe even crying to get out of a confrontation with someone. These are just a few examples of emotional defenses that can help us avoid going into areas of our feelings where we feel too vulnerable or afraid.
So does that mean we are at the mercy of the defensive reactions we have? No, we don't have to be. There are several things we can do to better understand what is occuring at a subconscious level in our lives. Some might ask why is this so important? It is important for our personal growth to understand when and why we are triggered by life circumstances. This allows us to learn about ourselves so that we can make more positive choices based on love rather than fear. If we don't understand, we can spend our entire lives simply acting and reacting to life rather than living it.
Here are some ways to begin to understand your defensive reactions so you can make different choices.
Try to be aware of resistance in your life...
Resistance is when things take on a sluggish feeling or become suddenly hard for no apparent reason. Look at the moment before you felt that way. What was going on? What were you doing and when did you become aware of the resistance you feel? Looking at your resistance level can help you look more closely at your defenses.
Be aware of your thoughts
Negative thoughts can be hard to pinpoint sometimes but if we pay attention to resistance, that gives us the opportunity to look at what we were thinking. Can you figure out where you have fear? Can you challenge that fear and make a courageous choice in your life? It may all sound difficult but if you try this in your life more you will be amazed at how much power you really have to transform a negative moment into a positive one.
Listen to your body...
We all hold stress in our body in different ways. Where do you hold yours? The way our bodies feel is an important tool in increasing our life awareness. How do your shoulders feel? Does your stomach feel tight? Do you feel tingly all over. Our bodies can tell us alot of information about what is going on in our emotional realm. Learn to listen to these subtle cues given to you physically about resistance.
Realize you always have a choice...
We often believe that once we become aware of something - what's done is done. This is not true. We ALWAYS have a choice of what we do next. Just because we have a certain reaction doesn't mean we are done, we can come at the situation in a different way. We can shift or replace our original assumption or reaction. We can try to reconcile how we are feeling about the person we had the reaction with. Making more positive choices even after the initial reaction can also lessen our resistance.
Our defenses are an important part of our lives. It is not realistic to think that we will remove all resistance or defensiveness while living. After all, we are here to learn and grow. Taking a look at our defensive reactions can allow us to move to greater awareness of what gets us caught in victimization or blame, rather than expansion or growth. All our emotions of anger, blame, guilt or hate can have a powerful negative effect on our lives whether they are directed at ourselve or others.
If we have deeper issues that need looked at, looking at defenses can help us find what we most need to know about ourselves and what we can do to release behaviors that cause resistance to achieving happiness in our lives.
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About the Author: A powerful mystic and spiritual teacher, CJ Martes has spent the past twenty-five years touching the lives of thousands of people in over 50 different countries with her amazing insights. Known for her ability to openly communicate with angels in order to support and guide others through difficult times, she's lovingly known as an Angel on Earth to many who know her. She can be contacted by visiting her website: http://www.cjmartes.com or by visiting www.angelincarnate.com